Saturday, September 11, 2004

High Context experience

This entry has nothing to do with investment or Warren Buffett. I had just finished the book a couple of days ago and found reading it to be a high context experience:
Context: High and low context refers to the amount of information that a person can comfortably manage. This can vary from a high context culture where background information is implicit to low context culture where much of the background information must be made explicit in an interaction ...
To digress further, I found these humorous stories of high and low context interactions:
Here's another way these differences can be observed. Jack, an American, is in France. He takes Marie, a Frenchwoman, out to dinner and a show. Afterwards, she invites him to her apartment. It is midnight. She serves coffee and cognac. Jack starts talking about all the things they have in common. He stares meaningfully into her eyes. He tries to cuddle closer to Marie. Marie says, "Relax, Jack. You are going to spend the night. Don't rush it." Jack thinks he's a great Casanova. He does not know that the context has already determined what content-- sleeping together or not-- will ensue in this situation.

Jules, a Frenchman is in America. It's the same scene as above, only Mary is an American. Just after coffee and cognac, Jules jumps on Mary. Mary is horrified. Jules does not understand. He has just received all the context markers for seduction. He does not know Mary expects a lot of content, before cutting to the chase. She wants to know what they have in common, to discuss their relationship, to share details of intimacies, and to exchange medical records, before she can switch to the context of a romantic entanglement.
Anyway, Beyond Culture has more to say on the subject. And, if you like the book, you ought to check out The Silent Language, and The Hidden Dimension. Oh, I almost forgot, Warren Buffett Portfolio is a good read too.

Friday, September 10, 2004

No Doubt - The Singles 1992-2003

In anticipation of closeyoureyes going back on the air at WERS, I thought I'd revive my weekly music entries, starting off with one of her favorite group No Doubt and vocalist Gwen Stefani. This album is not so soft, but it has a level of energy and a mix of eclectic beats that I can handle, unlike the ones from Fuel her other favorite group (sorry to read about their drummer).
1 Just a Girl Dumont, Stefani 3:25
2 It's My Life Friese-Greene, Hollis 3:45
3 Hey Baby Dumont, Kanal, Price, Stefani 3:26
4 Bathwater Dumont, Kanal, Stefani 4:00
5 Sunday Morning Kanal, Stefani, Stefani 4:31
6 Hella Good Hugo, Kanal, Stefani, Williams 4:02
7 New Dumont, Stefani 4:24
8 Underneath It All Stefani, Stewart 5:02
9 Excuse Me Mr. Dumont, Stefani 3:04
10 Running Kanal, Stefani 4:00
11 Spiderwebs Kanal, Stefani 4:26
12 Simple Kind of Life Stefani 4:15
13 Don't Speak Stefani, Stefani 4:22
14 Ex-Girlfriend Dumont, Kanal, Stefani 3:31
15 Trapped in a Box Dumont, Kanal, Stefani ... 3:23
Gwen has a fabulous voice. I like 12 of the 15 songs. Not bad. The comment in Bathwater about "why do good girls only want the bad boys" was an unexpected surprise. Got a chuckle out of that.

OK, going forward, any soft music recommendations?

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Go away a little closer

Go away a little closer is from the chapter called “The Approach-Avoidance Dance: Men, Women, and Intimacy.”.
Intimacy. We hunger for it, but we also fear it. We come close to a loved one, then we back off. A teacher I had once described this as the “go away a little closer” message, I call it the approach-avoidance dance.

The conventional wisdom says that women want intimacy, men resist it. And I have plenty of material that would seem to support that view. Whether in my research interviews, in my clinical hours, or in the ordinary course of my life, I hear the same story told repeatedly. “He doesn’t talk to me,” says a woman. “ I don’t know what she wants me to talk about,” says a man. “I want to know what he’s feeling,” she tells me. “I’m not feeling anything,” he insists. “Who can feel nothing?” she cries. “I can,” he shouts. As the heat rises, so does the wall between them. Defensive and angry, they retreat – stalemated by their inability to understand each other.

Women complain to each other all the time about not being able to talk to their men about the things that matter most to them – about what they themselves are thinking and feeling, about what goes on in the hearts and minds of the men they’re relating to. And men, less able to expose themselves and their conflicts – those within themselves or those with the women in their lives – either turn silent or take cover by ...
It's so true. Women are more in touch with their feelings. This is a wonderful book. You're sure to enjoy it.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Defining moments

I had a different entry in mind for today. Then I read PhoenixM's recent entry about the circumstances surrounding her birth. ·In my case, had my brother not died at around the same age as I was in the photo, I would not have been born. ·Three children were all they wanted. ·So, I guess you can say these were defining moments in our lives. ·No matter how long ago they happened, the memory about them never leaves us.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

What any of us would want

My First Mister (2001)I had my doubts about this movie at first. But after I watched it over the weekend, I was delighted. What a nice and positive story. It is about an unlikely relationship between a 17-year-old girl and a 49-year-old man. Two people on the surface who are polar opposites. Yet beneath, they are kindred spirits. And over time, they developed a friendship and love for each other that, I think any of us would want, not only to want to know each others inner lives but to help each other live a fuller and happier one.

You have to see this. Read the reviews to know more.